


Iron Bear

by lrhaboggle



Category: Five Nights at Freddy's
Genre: Avengers - Freeform, Bon Bon projectile, Comedy, Floxi?, Fluff, Foxy is loki, Freddy Stark?, Humor, Iron Man - Freeform, Loki - Freeform, Loki is foxy, Parody, Short, comedy skit - Freeform, first Avengers film only, lol, poor Bon Bon, poor girl keeps getting hurt, reference to the Custom Night in SL, she didn't want this, superhero
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 05:01:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17016234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lrhaboggle/pseuds/lrhaboggle
Summary: When Freddy's comedy skits become boring in the eyes of his young audience, BonBon comes up with an idea to modernize the shows while also keeping their humor. Unlucky for her, the end product requires her to act as a rocket to be launched off of Avenger Iron Man Freddy's arm multiple times. Ouch!





	Iron Bear

Funtime Freddy did stand-up comedy. It was his main programming. He was a child entertainer at a pizzeria. And he absolutely adored every show! Every joke, every slapstick occurrence, every funny accident, every silly face, the giant metal bear loved it all! But there came a time when the old-fashioned puns and Knock Knock jokes and pie-in-the-face or giant-rubber-hammer gags got old and even the youngest of kids began to find the act stale, boring and predictable. It only took one little eye roll and one little yawn from one of the toddlers for Freddy to realize that. "What do we do, BonBon?! What do we do?!" the giant animatronic hopped from foot to foot, nervous and gnawed at the nonexistent nails on his left hand. Perhaps it came from being a comedian, actor and performer, but Freddy was notorious for overreacting to pretty much anything, good or bad. Meanwhile, the little blue bunny bot that made up his right hand was totally calm. Whether their creator had intended for it to happen or not, the two had since become akin to soulmates, absolutely perfect for each other. BonBon was always there to act as the voice of reason and calmness whenever Freddy began to freak out (which happened a lot, since he overreacted to everything). So, while Freddy was hopping back and forth from sheer nerves, shaking the entire stage because of how big and heavy he was, his little hand puppet companion only raised her tiny paws in an attempt to calm him down.

"Don't worry, Freddy! I think I've got an idea!" she squeaked, voice high-pitched, sweet and friendly.

"Really?! You do?! Oh, thank Fazbear!" the larger animatronic began to calm down. "What have you got?"

"I was thinking maybe we could try to do a superhero skit!" she suggested, waggling her blue ears excitedly.

"Superhero?" Freddy echoed facial plates shifting back out of a concerned look into a genuinely surprised expression.

"Yeah!" BonBon nodded happily. "You know that new superhero movie, the Avengers, has just come out! So why don't you and I do something like that? We could be two of the characters and maybe we could get Funtime Foxy to help us!" she suggested and Freddy's face lit up like the sun.

10 minutes later, the next show commenced. Although the crowd was dishearteningly low, this no longer bothered Freddy. Instead, having replaced his old, white and pink metal shell for a red and gold one, he took to the stage confidently. The few children who were there all gasped in awe, recognizing who Freddy was masquerading as at once. He might've been the most disproportionate and inaccurate cosplayer any of them had ever seen, but there was no mistaking the red and gold metal body or the glowing piece in the chest or the slits for eyes. He was...

"I am Iron Bear!" Freddy cried, voice mimicking the character's perfectly. It was in times like that when he silently thanked his creator for giving him voice mimicking software. The kids clapped in excitement. This was a new show! This looked interesting...

"And I am Loki!" a new voice suddenly cried out. Then, in a green robe and golden, horned helmet, Funtime Foxy took the stage. "Of Asgard, and I am burdened with a glorious purpose!" he waved a cheap plastic staff over his head and the end piece began to glow.

"The Tesseract!" one of the children whispered in excitement, scooting closer to the stage. Neither of the Funtime animatronics missed that gesture, or the slow but steady increase in viewers. They grinned at one another through their temporary new disguises, then Freddy commenced the scene.

"Loki! What are you doing here on Earth? Go back to Asgard!" Freddy demanded, voice still sounding perfectly like Iron Man's.

"Not until I have taken this pathetic pile of rock with me! And all before me shall KNEEL!" Foxy waved his staff again and several of the audience members pretended to cry out in horror, obediently falling to their knees to keep the show going.

"But they shall not kneel for I, Iron Bear, shall avenge them and send you back to where you belong!" Freddy roared, then he thrust his right arm forward. BonBon, who had also lost her old blue body for a red and gold one, suddenly began to whimper.

"Wait! Freddy! I thought we agreed you weren't going to-!" but she never got to finish her sentence before Freddy pressed a button on his right wrist, ejecting her right off his hand and sending her sailing across the stage, right into Funtime Foxy.

Funtime Foxy pretended to sink to his knees.

"Argh!" he clutched his chest, bowing his horned head. "I will not be defeated by mortal tools! I am a god, you steel creature!" then he hopped back up, turning the staff upside down. He held it like a golf club and approached BonBon's motionless figure.

"Wait! Foxy! No!" BonBon squeaked, but again, her voice was lost amongst the chaos and Foxy swung. She went sailing back over to Freddy.

"Do you really think you can use my own inventions against me?!" Freddy caught BonBon easily, then he quickly replaced her onto his right wrist, but she wasn't there for more than five seconds before Freddy took aim at Foxy again.

"Oh, no!" BonBon wailed, covering her golden ears with red paws, knowing that the Funtimes were having too much fun treating her as ammunition to be able to hear her protests. At this point, all she could do was brace herself as she went sailing back into Foxy yet again. This wasn't what she'd signed up for! She was going to be Black Widow, but no, Freddy had to beg her to be one of Iron Man's missiles and she had, stupidly, said yes. Only she could've sworn that Freddy had agreed not to actually launch her. Apparently he'd forgotten that.

"Whooooaaaa!" the tiny bunny yelped as she sailed across the stage over and over again, to the delight of the young onlookers.

This back and forth carried on until Freddy dropped BonBon altogether, lunging at Foxy and getting into a good, old-fashioned tug-of-war over the Tesseract staff. They offered a few more bouts of witty banter and quotes from the film before Freddy picked up BonBon one last time, but instead of shooting her off his arm for the eighth time that show, he only thrust her right into Foxy's face.

"Beware! Loki! You may be a god and you may think you're clever, but this isn't just any ordinary tank missile!" he cried. "It's also my robot servant, who will help me defeat you once and for all!" and then, acquiescing to the script, BonBon hopped off of Freddy's wrist, of her own volition this time, and right into Foxy's face. This part, she had signed up for! (But not the launching. She was going to be sore tomorrow!)

"Argh!" the horned fox pretended to be blinded by BonBon's little attack, dropping the staff. Freddy wasted no time in picking it up, waving it high in the air and pretending to strike Foxy right in the heart with it. The fox collapsed comically to the ground, causing the stage to shake a little, and he intentionally shoved his golden helmet off, to signify Loki's defeat.

"And another day is saved, thanks to Iron Bear!" Freddy declared to his now-massive audience, holding the scepter in the air again. The crowd went wild and Freddy felt the large cavity in his chest fill up with joy. He had saved the show! He was back in business!

"So, BonBon!" Freddy grinned as Foxy stood back up, prying BonBon off his face. "Are you ready for our next show?!" and BonBon could only despair as the fox placed her back on the bear's red and gold wrist.

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Here you go, GoldenFazbearGreen! Here's your little "Freddy pretends to be Iron Man and shoots BonBon off his hand a lot" fic! (I know it's illogical that Freddy would have a fat iron man suit just hanging around to slip into, but for the sake of the fic, lets say he changes his metal body out a lot and happened to have some red and gold pieces lying around, LOL).


End file.
